The Devil’s Beautitudes

Perhaps if the devil wrote his own beatitudes, they might go something like this:

1. Un-Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, or too distracted to spend time each week with their fellow Christians — they become some of my best workers.

2. Un-Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked — I can use them.

3. Un-Blessed are the touchy who stop going to church — they become my missionaries.

4. Un-Blessed are the trouble makers — they will be called my children.

5. Un-Blessed are the complainers — They become all ears and mouths to me.

6. Un-Blessed are those who are bored with the minister’s mannerisms and mistakes — they get nothing out of his sermons.

7. Un-Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church — he becomes a part of the problem instead of the solution.

8. Un-Blessed are those who gossip — they shall cause strife and divisions that please me.

9. Un-Blessed are those who are easily offended — they will soon get angry and quit.

10. Un-Blessed are those who do not give their time and offering to carry on God’s work– for they are my helpers!

11. Un-Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother and sister — for he shall be with me forever.

12. Un-Blessed are you who, when you read this, think it is only about other people — I’ve got you too!